Masculinity

If you were raised male and it feels like your mental well-being is challenged, you most likely have suffered harm by patriarchal expectations of masculinity. Healthy masculinity is beautiful and should be celebrated. Tragically, under patriarchal norms, masculinity becomes restrictive in the demand for aggressive, dominant, and unemotional ways of being.

Some of the ways that patriarchal expectations of masculinity may have harmed you can include:

  1. The inability to feel most emotions, including joy and happiness, or feeling (most often unconsciously) that rage and violence are the only way to express your emotional pain.

  2. The belief that you are worthless unless you produce high quality/quantity work and garner external validation through power, fame, and/or wealth.

  3. The belief that you need to do everything in life on your own, or else you are weak and worthless.

  4. A pervasive feeling of shame that something is inherently wrong or broken within you if you do not adhere to restrictive patriarchal conceptions of masculinity.  

  5. A lack of ability to form deep, meaningful relationships with others due to fear of vulnerability and emotional intimacy.

  6. Repression of your own desires and needs, leading to a feeling of emptiness and a lack of fulfillment.

  7. The promotion of toxic competition, where the success of others is seen as a threat to your well-being.

  8. The glorification of violence and aggression, leading to a distorted view of conflict resolution and a lack of empathy towards others.

  9. Viewing women as “less than” (often unconsciously) leading to harmful and unfulfilling interpersonal relationships.

I create a safe and affirming space to explore the ways you have been harmed by patriarchal expectations, how this is currently manifesting in your life, how to be compassionate to yourself while taking responsibility for the ways patriarchal masculinity may have acted through you and harmed others, and how to find new, more expansive and authentic way of being. My hope is that through our work together you can embrace your individuality and reclaim your worth by embracing a healthier and more fulfilling expression of masculinity and become who you were  born to be.

“In an anti-patriarchal culture males do not have to prove their value and worth. They know from birth that simply being gives them value, the right to be cherished and loved.”

- bell hooks